


Too Good To Be True

by OopsSpooks



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: :D, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, BAMF TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), BAMF sisterinnit, Bad Parenting, Family Dynamics, Fluff and Angst, Gen, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, Mentioned Toby Smith | Tubbo, Platonic Soulmates, Scared TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Sleepy Bois Inc Angst, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, Wilbur Soot and Technoblade and TommyInnit are Siblings, except sbi of course, i really said no good family's here, im gonna help fix that :), sbi, she's just great, sorry parentinnits, there's a criminally small amount of sbi soulmate fics, they're family your honor, tommy has a sister because i said so
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-30
Updated: 2021-03-07
Packaged: 2021-03-16 09:28:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 19,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29080128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OopsSpooks/pseuds/OopsSpooks
Summary: Or where Tommy thinks he's not good enough for any of his soulmates, and they want to prove him how wrong he is.
Relationships: Technoblade & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF), Technoblade & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Wilbur Soot & Technoblade, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & Phil Watson, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit, Wilbur Soot & Technoblade & TommyInnit & Phil Watson
Comments: 178
Kudos: 1015





	1. The Beginning

Soulmates, on the surface, sounded like a great idea, right? Spending the rest of your life with one person, or more, who knew you better than anyone else. They’d be there for you no matter the hardships and would love you unconditionally. Whether romantic or platonic, they were meant to be your everything. However, life was not always kind, and soulmates were nowhere near that for Tommy.

He was only twelve years old when his mom told him how she had met his father. “It’s complicated, my dear,” his mother had said with a tight smile. It wasn’t evident to the young boy that this story would hold a lot of meaning to him later on in life. His mother had gone on to explain the failed bonds his parents had with their own soulmates, how the supposedly destined relationships had ended in a destructive disaster.

Most people told their children to trust in destiny and look for their fated. Most people would tell their young about the fantastical feeling one would have when around their soulmates. Tommy’s parents weren’t most people. The energetic blonde was told that under no circumstances should he ever try to find his three platonic soulmates.

This upbringing led to Tommy being very confused throughout his childhood as the people around him at school praised soulmates while his parents condemned them. However, it was the twenty-first century, once Tommy was old enough to gain access to the internet, his whole world changed. He was able to discover the ins and outs of soulmates and how they affected people. With his new-found knowledge, Tommy’s desire to meet his soulmates grew with each passing day. However, his outlook changed dramatically when he finally found out who they were.

\----------

All things considered, Tommy should have been ecstatic when he found out. Most people didn’t know anything about their soulmates when they initially met. The teen was extremely lucky to already be such close friends with them. Who would’ve thought he had already personally known his soulmates for months? 

That fateful day had been a busy one on the Dream SMP and Tommy was exhausted. From keeping up his energetic act as well as participating in multiple bits with his friends, the teen was spent. Tommy was now curled up in a comfortable hoodie editing a newly recorded video for his YouTube channel.

He was also on a call with the other three members of “Sleepy Bois Inc”. Wilbur was softly strumming his guitar, no doubt working on another song, while Phil edited a small video for his fans. Techno, who had his camera off like usual, was simply listening to the quiet chatter of his friends, comfortable with the silence in between. The four friends were simply enjoying the presence of each other, not having to worry about thousands of people judging them.

Tommy was barely paying attention to his editing software, the calming atmosphere of the call distracting him. He folded his arms on his desk and leaned his head against them, content with listening to his friends’ prattle on about random topics. A lull in conversation was quickly filled by Wilbur playing the beginning of a familiar tune. The brunette’s soft smile widened when Tommy started to hum along. 

Phil laughed quietly as they began to sing faintly, the two’s giggling filling the call whenever one of them went off-tune. The other members of the call seeming to enjoy the loud pair singing along with the rhythm of the guitar, however, the sweet moment was ruined rather abruptly when Tommy heard an indecipherable shout from outside his room.

“Thomas!” His mother’s voice repeated from the hallway connecting his room to hers. The teen’s eyes widened and he quickly slammed his hand against the keyboard to mute himself. Tommy felt bile rise in his throat as the door swung open to reveal his furious mother. 

“Yes?” he asked tentatively, the illogical fear of his mother finding the truth about Tommy’s soulmates clawing at him. “Your father has just informed me he’ll be taking a trip.” Although the words offered reassurance for that fear, they were spat like poison, the harsh tone making Tommy flinch. “Mum, it’s fine he’ll be back in a few days, it’s probably for work.” He tried to be reassuring, but it was no surprise that his mother wasn’t here for comforting words.

“If this is another one of your tricks to see if you can sneak out with friends, you can kiss your streaming goodbye!” She said angrily, her voice rising in volume, Tommy’s eyes widening at the very real threat. He’d already taken a few unexplained breaks, another one would be too suspicious to go without explanation or under the lie of taking a mental health break. “Mum, I swear I haven’t talked to anyone about-”

“I don’t want to hear it!” His mother interrupted, practically screaming. “Last time you hung around that bunch you were introduced to a pair of soulmates.” His mother said the word like a curse and realistically, to her, it was. She was breathing heavily, and with the evident anger in her posture, Tommy couldn’t help but start to slightly shake in his chair.

“Mum I promise I didn’t tell dad anything about the other day, please don’t take away my streams. I’ll be better.” He promised, eyes beginning to prick with tears. Be docile. Be docile. Getting upset would fix nothing, he had to remain calm. Tommy could break down later, there was no time for that now.

“No one comes over, you hear me? I’m going to Nancy’s.” With those final words, his mother slammed the door, leaving a shaking teen in her wake. He took in a shuttering breath, trying to normalize his breathing pattern. She was gone, she was going to a friend’s, he was safe. Tommy listened to make sure she had left the house before fully collapsing in his chair, his body continuing to shake uncontrollably. 

“Tommy?” Phil’s voice came faintly through the headphones that he had quickly thrown down on his desk. He quickly opened up the discord app he had closed to see Techno’s face cam on, all three of his friends looking horrified.

Tommy’s face turned considerably paler as he gently put his headphones back on, not quite ready to face the incoming onslaught of questions. “I,” the teen’s breath hitched with his still rapidly beating heart, “I wasn’t muted was I?” He finally asked, voice noticeably shaking with fear. “No Toms, no you weren’t,” Wilbur said just as quietly, an unreadable expression on his face.

The eldest took a shuttering breath before speaking gently to the anxious teen. “I’m not trying to judge anyone in your household, right now my main focus is on you. Are you ok?” He didn’t know quite how to react, the simple question making Tommy want to let out the ugly emotions storming inside him.

“I-” Tommy struggled to find a verbal answer. “This happens often,” he decided to start with, logically there was no easy way to get around this confrontation. “My parents and I don’t get on amazingly, but it’s ok, I’m fine.” His smile was tight and forced, noticeably practiced, but still bad enough to show he was lying.

Techno eyed the boy wearily, the American seeming much more apprehensive about letting the topic slide. “You don’t have to tell us anything, but we are here if you want us to listen.” His monotone voice rang out in the call, but it was met with silence.

“Um yeah, got it,” Tommy said awkwardly a few moments later, desperate to change the subject. “Hey Phil, how was that new build you were doing in your end realm? I couldn’t catch the stream.” Techno said, finally deciding to steer the conversation away from Tommy. Said teen let out a quiet sigh, thankful to sit back as the two began to talk. He noticed Wilbur still eying him warily, but the brunette didn’t comment on the situation anymore. 

Tommy was trying to come up with an excuse to leave the call, desperate to just sit with his feelings alone when something caught his eye. “Hey, what’s that on your collarbone, Phil?” Tommy asked before gasping dramatically, a genuine smile lighting up his tired eyes. “Does the Philza Minecraft have a tattoo?” Tommy continued his voice light and teasing.

“Huh, oh you mean my soulmark? I forgot we never told you.” The eldest of the group laughed slightly, an unusually sheepish smile on his face. The oldest of the four pulled down the collar of his shirt to reveal an image of an elegant and bright phoenix. Tommy’s mouth fell open in shock, unconsciously shaking his head in disbelief. It wasn't possible, it couldn’t be.

The teen’s brain practically short-circuited, trying to fully comprehend what this discovery meant. Tommy then realized what Phil had said in full. “Wait what?” He asked confused, the older blonde had said “we”. What weren’t his friends telling him?

Wilbur smiled gently, hoping the young boy wouldn’t take the situation the wrong way, and pulled down the neck of his jumper, showing an identical mark. “Phil, Techno, and I are platonic soulmates,” he said softly. If the blonde’s mind had previously short-circuited, then surely it was broken now. “Holy shit,” Tommy said, not even trying to hide his blatant shock.

Techno chuckled, showing off his phoenix mark before readjusting his sweater. Tommy’s mouth was still wide open, his eyes glued to the fiery wing poking out from under Phil’s shirt. “Tommy?” Wilbur asked tentatively, scared that the boy was upset they had hidden something that important from him. “Uh sorry, wow yeah, I had no clue. That’s awesome though, you guys make such a great group,” He said smiling, it being only slightly more genuine than his last.

“Oh good, we haven’t told our fans for obvious reasons, but I’m really glad you know now.” The eldest of the group said before smiling warmly at the other blonde. Tommy returned it, but inside he was panicking. After talking for a few more minutes Tommy gave an exaggerated yawn. “I think it’s time for me to head off to bed boys.” He yawned again, hoping it’d convince the other three, and thankfully, it did.

Sleepy goodbyes were exchanged between the four before Tommy left the call. He starred at the screen for a moment, double-checking he had exited, before bolting out of his chair and towards the door. The blonde slammed it open, silently thankful he was the only person in the house. Tommy quickly turned right and entered the bathroom, already halfway through tugging off his hoodie and shirt.

Looking into the mirror confirmed what he already knew and feared to be true. An elegant phoenix rested on his collarbone, the bright oranges, and reds a stark contrast against his pale skin. The mythical bird looked confident and strong, but the teen it rested on was anything but.

Tommy’s eyes started to prick with tears as the gravity of the situation fully weighed down on him. His fingers brushed over the words “platonic four” written in an elegant script across the bird’s wing. “Fuck,” he whispered into the empty bathroom, starring at the soulmark that bound Tommy to his closest friends.

\----------

Tommy never spoke a word of that day to anyone. To his soulmates, it was simply the day the teen found out about their marks, but to him, it was so much more. That day changed his entire perspective, Tommy’s soulmates were no longer these untouchable beings. They were practically right in front of him and oh so real. He was desperate for everything to stay completely normal, the terror of rejection a painful reminder in his head. No matter how long he’d accepted the fact that soulmates were often amazing, the fear instilled into him as a child was still there. Tommy often thought that he could let his soulmates live happily by themselves, they didn’t need someone like him to ruin a perfectly good thing.

However, his three charismatic friends always seemed to pull him back in. The first time Tommy had met Wilbur and Phil in person, his smile had never been so wide. This unexplainable happiness filled him by simply being around the two. He still remembered throwing caution to the wind and launching himself at Wilbur for a hug, and with Phil laughing in the background, Tommy had never felt so complete.

Sometimes he truly believed he could live with them not knowing. That if they would just be his friends, Tommy would be alright. Moments like those liked to prove him wrong, show Tommy had much he would enjoy living the rest of his life with those three by his side. Other moments would also show the teen he needed to remember how his soulmates felt, namely, the first and last time he had seen Wilbur cry.

\----------

It had been another exhausting day at college and Tommy was ready to knock out cold at home. Having no stream planned, he chose his words carefully to avoid any argument with his parents and quickly retreated to his room. The teen dumped his book bag to the floor before collapsing face-first into his bed.

His tired muscles had barely relaxed when his computer rang with an unexpected video call from Wilbur. The brunette usually never called without pre-warning and it was an odd time for Wilbur to be calling Tommy anyway. The teen’s friend was always very conscious of when Tommy would be too exhausted from school to talk, choosing to call the teen hours after he usually returned home. He pulled himself to his chair and answered the call. Before Tommy could even say hello, he was struck speechless by what greeted him.

There, curled in on himself, was Wilbur. The over six-foot brunette looked hopelessly small as tears left angry red lines down his face, his puffy eyes showing that the tears weren’t brand new. Tommy shook out of his thoughts quickly and turned his camera on, trying to think of a way to help his friend. “Wilbur are you alright?” 

His voice came out high pitched and concerned, the fear for Wilbur evident. “Tommy?” He murmured in confusion, his clouded eyes not focusing on anything. The brunette looked up at the screen before clicking a few times on his mouse. Phil and Techno’s icons both popped up on the screen, the eldest answering first and Techno joining shortly after.

“Hey, Wil- oh my god are you ok? What happened?” Phil’s greeting had been cut off as he saw the usually energetic 24-year-old sat in tears on the call. “Do I need to kill someone?” Techno tried to joke but the concerned lilt in his voice showed he was just as confused and worries as the rest of his friends. Tommy’s shoulders were tense and his heart was racing. What was going on? Why was Wilbur so upset? The teen also had a sneaking suspicion he wasn’t meant to be there. If Wilbur’s early confusion was anything to go off of, only Techno and Phil were supposed to be called.

The silence in the call made Tommy’s heartbeat echo in his ears, the teen almost sighing with relief when Wilbur finally spoke. “Someone-” his voice cracked loudly, “someone pretended to be our fourth.” Tommy’s heart shattered. Wilbur was hurting, terribly hurting, and there was no denying it was all his fault. One of his soulmates was crying because of him because he was too scared to tell them the truth. The teen felt like a knife had been twisted through his heart as Wilbur unintentionally let out another broken sob.

“Oh Wil,” Phil breathed out, the matching pain in his voice evident. Tommy had to rapidly blink, praying no one noticed his barely contained tears. “I was at the beach and they came up to me so excited, talking about our mark.” The heartbroken man continued to tell the three how he spent almost four hours with this person. Wilbur told them how he had told this girl all about Phil and Techno, how excited his friends would be to meet her. Phil’s hand rested over his mouth, a turmoil of swirling emotions showing in his eyes. 

“I asked if she wanted to get dinner, and maybe call you two.” The brunette cracked a bitter smile, “a couple of her friends decided to break the news to me.” Wilbur frowned and wiped away his tears in obvious frustration, “she did it off a bet.” Tommy felt like he couldn’t breathe, the pain was evident in Wilbur’s voice, Phil looked heartbroken, and the usually stoic Techno had taken off his glasses to rub at his eyes. This was all Tommy’s fault. “I’m sorry I roped you into this Toms.” The nickname made Tommy”s heart clench tighter, “you don’t deserve to hear this mess.”

His voice cracked as he reassured Wilbur it was no problem, truthful apologizes getting stuck in his throat. “If I lived anywhere near you, I’d hunt her down,” Techno spat, his previous anguish being long forgotten, replaced by angry words. “Techno,” Wilbur sighed, an exasperated smile playing on his lips like he had scolded the American for this before. The brunette may have been calming down, but Tommy’s inner turmoil had only grown worse. He had to tell them, it had been so long, they needed to know. Tommy opened his mouth to speak, but the same strangling fears closed his throat.

He couldn’t do it.

\----------

Tommy’s heart still hurt thinking about that day, the guilt still following him. It had been months since that incident and it had only become harder to keep his secret from his friends. Tommy had known they were soulmates for ages and was presented with so many opportunities to say something, but the teen never did. 

Present-day Tommy had quite a few new problems to deal with, one being his bright soulmark could no longer be hidden by hoodies and jumpers due to the hot weather. He wore simple t-shirts on the daily, nothing but makeup could hide the phoenix mark well enough. This thought process led him to a very awkward conversation when his older sister who had just gotten back from university. She went to school hours away and could only visit so often so when her younger brother immediately begged for her makeup, Abigail was rightfully confused. 

“So let me get this straight” she started, her voice exasperated. “Your soulmates are three of your best friends and you want to hide your mark?” Tommy sat on the toilet seat while his sister looked through her makeup bag. He glared at her, “it sounds bad when you put it like that!” Abigail glared right back at her younger brother, unafraid to call him out on his bad idea. “It is Tommy! Intentionally hiding a mark could trigger a second clue!” 

The shuddered, the prospect scaring him more than it should. A second clue wouldn’t even give him a chance, his secret would be thrown out the window. When soulmates, especially ones with bigger age gaps, did not meet for a while, they could get a second clue. The much more mysterious markings varied greatly, but they all had the same purpose: to make who your soulmate or soulmates were very obvious.

“I know you’re scared bubs, but don’t listen to what mum and dad say.” Abigail’s voice was soft as she cupped his cheek gently, smiling down at the teen that seemed to have grown up too fast. “Those three already love you, could you imagine what would happen if they knew. They’d adore you, little bro.”

The weight of her words caused his barely concealed emotions to bubble to the surface. Tommy’s head met his sister’s stomach as he hugged her tightly, eyes stinging with unshed tears. “I know,” he said, voice scratchy, “they deserve to know, I’m just so scared.” His voice was cracking, shaking with the fear the whole situation had brought the teen. 

Abigail shushed her younger brother lightly, gently running her fingers through his hair to soother the shaking boy. “I’ll help you cover the mark if anything to hide it from your fans.” The older blonde seemed to pause in thought, and her next words were said with caution. “But I want you to think about telling them. Don’t force it out at some random moment, I want you to think about this.” Abigail waited for Tommy’s nod of acknowledgment before handing him the pale cream and blending sponge.

Tommy took the makeup from her, glancing at it before looking up at his older sister in confusion. “How the fuck do I put this on?” They stared at each other for a few seconds before breaking out into loud, carefree laughter. It was all too true that Tommy was openly struggling with accepting his soulmates’ identities, but Tommy would always have his sister by his side.

\----------

Abigail was sound asleep in her old room, unsurprisingly exhausted from the hours she spent with Tommy. However, the youngest blonde was still wide awake, sat in his gaming chair, eyes only slightly focused on the dimmed screen of his computer. Tommy was slowly starting to nod off when his left forearm started to heat up. The odd sensation interrupted the lull of his drowsiness, so he pushed back the sleeve of his jumper. Tommy thought that after so much of his recent stress, he wouldn’t have any tears left to cry. He was so wrong.

There on Tommy’s arm were the bold words, “second clue - insight.” It was like Abigail had cursed him, the simple black words glaring up at him. He groaned and leaned back in his chair after the words shimmered away, his eyes already beginning to prick with tears. The disappearance of the mark indicating his friends had already seen it as well.

Less than two minutes later, the Sleepy Bois Inc discord group was called into a voice chat. Tommy could only wonder what it was about. “Hey, what’s up?” Tommy said once he joined, feigning innocence he didn’t have. “Oh hey Tommy if you’re busy you don’t have to stay, it’s about our soulmate.” Wilbur’s words were laced with excitement, no doubt ecstatic that they’d probably meet their fourth so soon. Tommy wished he could share a fraction of his friend’s excitement.

“Oh really, what’s happened?” Tommy was asking questions he knew the answer to, but he’d gotten so good at lying about his soulmates that it was second nature. The teen felt no need to leave the call if he was just going to hear Wilbur gushing about it later, hopefully, this would hurt less. Phil smiled and tapped his forearm while explaining the weird sensation and mysterious mark that had shown up as their second clue moments ago.

“It’s one I’ve never heard of, however,” Wilbur said, looking up at the ceiling, obviously trying to think. Techno’s fingers ran quickly across his keyboard, the keys clicking as his underlining excitement made him type faster. A few minutes later and his monotone tone voice rang out in the silent call. “It’s quite a rare clue, usually reserved for larger groups of soulmates,” Phil hummed in acknowledgment for him to continue. “Starting with the oldest, the others will be able to view about a fifteen-minutes of the person’s life.”

Wilbur’s mouth fell open in shock, the clue sounding practically impossible. Techno’s eyes kept widening as he read on, “each soulmate will have a part of their life viewed, and the times are completely random. Soulmates only get a small feeling it will happen before the insight begins.” Tommy sat utterly speechless, this was so much worse than he had thought. A second clue was supposed to be obvious, but being able to watch someone else’s day was insane. Being the youngest of the group, he’d be last, but he had a limited amount of time before he would have to face the truth head-on.

Wilbur dragged a hand across his mouth, “we’re gonna see our fourth.” Phil nodded, his eyes just as shocked, “yeah, yeah we are.” Wilbur let out another shocked laugh, a smile taking over his face. Tommy felt sick. “This is it guys,” Techno had a surprisingly soft smile on his face, his deep voice holding an unbridled hope. “There’s now a time limit, we don’t know the specifics, but there’s a set amount of time until all four of us will be together.” Phil let out a shaky breath and Techno laughed as the eldest of the group used his hands to cover his face. “Fucking finally,” Wilbur giggled loudly, leaning back in his chair with a stupidly happy grin. Despite how worried the blonde of the four was, he couldn’t stop his entire body from relaxing at the soft looks of his soulmates.

They all seemed so genuinely happy, all three of them wanted so desperately to meet him. With one last glance around the call, Tommy decided he should leave his soulmates to themselves. “I’ve got to head off to bed, but good luck you three,” Tommy said quietly, a fond softness accenting his words. Phil smiled brightly at the youngest and the group exchanged goodbyes, excited chatter starting before the teen had even left.

As Tommy laid in bed, he was almost glad the decision had been taken out of his hands. It was no longer up to him how and when his soulmates would find out. However, so many things could go wrong. He’d be lying if he said his life was grand and perfect because it wasn’t. Tommy’s parents were so different from him it was hard to find any middle ground, his only sibling lived so far away that she could barely help him in his daily life, and Tommy’s college life was riddled with a few kids bored enough to pick on someone else. So many ugly truths would be revealed when his friends found out, he could only hope they’d stick around long enough for him to explain.

He sighed and shoved his face in the soft pillow. It was no use worrying about it now, he had lost the chance to choose how he’d tell them. He’d have quite a lot of time to worry about the implications of his second clue. Tommy knew he had a rough few weeks ahead of him and to get through that, the young teen needed rest. With one last sigh, Tommy closed his eyes and succumbed to sleep.


	2. Hello Philza Minecraft

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you for all the wonderful support, any comments absolutely make my day, yall are amazing! <3

Phil had been surprised, to say the least, when he received the second clue. It had been years since he and his two soulmates had found each other, and yet the group of three were never given any extra information to find their fourth. They had lived their lives with just the three of them, so why now did such an in-depth clue appear? What had changed?

He was no stranger to feeling confused about the mark on his skin. He spent years without his soulmates, and lived with the fear and hurt that it had brought. Many people described missing a soulmate as an empty place in your heart, however, it had never felt like that to Phil. He could love wholeheartedly and there was never an ache in his chest for someone he had never met. 

However, without all four of his soulmates, there was always something off. Something missing. There was always a presence that should’ve been there. A silence that could’ve been filled with a loud laugh, a bad day that could’ve been cured with a simple hug. In Phil’s happiest moments he wished for his soulmate to be there to celebrate. He wanted his fourth to be there as comfort when life became too much to handle, Phil truly just wanted his last soulmate.

The blonde was thirty-two years old and had met two out of his three soulmates as well as married the love of his life. Phil wouldn’t trade those people for anything, but he knew that he was still missing that final person, however, he supposed his patience had paid off. Their second clue was surprisingly insightful and it was only a matter of weeks until Phil could see his fourth soulmate relatively face to face.

He could only hope that his soulmate was as excited to meet him as Phil was to meet them.

\----------

Tommy knew it’d hadn’t even been a week since his second clue was revealed yet it had felt like years. It had been exactly three days since the teen’s soulmate situation had somehow worsened. He went from hiding the truth about his mark to watching every single word he said around his friends. Tommy’s second clue had just added more chaos and uncertainty to his life, he now had to always be prepared to face his soulmates.

His next few days had been spent trying to figure out a way to get through the whole ordeal calmly. Tommy couldn’t go around shouting to the world that his closest friends were his soulmates so he only took solace in his sister and best friend.

Tubbo had practically fallen out of his chair in excitement when Tommy told the brunette he had met his soulmates. The older of the pair started to pester him about all the little details when Tommy had stopped him with a tight smile.

_“It’s them, Tubbo”_

_“What?”_

_“It’s Wilbur, Techno, and Phil”_

_“Oh”_

The pure shock from Tubbo was enough for Tommy to break out into laughter, and it had been a much needed relief for the pair. The brunette had been really helpful in talking Tommy through his emotions about the situation and offered a lot of helpful advice. The youngest of the two was once again reminded how much he truly needed Tubbo.

The next day, Tommy had to explain to his school that he might have to leave class if an insight happened. Most teachers didn’t care, but surprisingly a few thought he had made up the clue and refused to let him out of any lessons early. That had ticked the blonde off to no end.

His second clue was so uncommon that barely anything was known about it, and many people didn’t even know it existed. Tommy had scoured the internet in search of more information but came up blank. The only extra detail he could find was that some soulmate groups could talk during the switch, but even that was speculation.

Today was now the fourth day since the second clue had appeared on Tommy’s forearm, and it had so far been pretty uneventful. He had woken up around noon due to a stream that ran surprisingly late the night prior and had no altercations with his parents. Abigail helped him make lunch and the two decided to relax and catch up on each other’s lives.

The few hours they had alone were disturbed by their mother returning home, and Tommy retreated to his room after an offhand insult from her left a sour taste in his mouth. She had apparently had a bad day at work so she rounded it on him and somehow made it Tommy’s fault. At this point, the young teen wasn’t even surprised.

Shockingly, Tommy had also called the Sleepy Bois later that evening. Having already finished his work for college, he had decided they could cure his boredom. The four friends had messed around playing random games on Steam and genuinely enjoying themselves. 

It ended when Wilbur had to leave to do a planned GeoGuesser stream, but Tommy still felt warm from the time spent with his friends. The whole group, however, trolled the brunette’s chat and many clips were taken by viewers as the three caused chaos in Wilbur’s stream. Tommy hadn’t laughed that much in a long time.

He hummed quietly as he clicked off Wilbur’s now ended stream with a smile on his face. It was a nice stream and had made Tommy feel surprisingly tired. The blonde got up from his desk and went to say goodnight to his older sister. She kissed him on the cheek and shooed him away, whispering a soft goodnight.

Tommy got into some sweatpants and propped himself up in bed. He played some soft music through a little speaker hung on his wall and just let himself relax. He scrolled through his own Reddit and smiled at the influx of fan art. The events of the SMP had flooded the internet with new art, animatics, and stories. So many talented people genuinely loved what they were doing.

The teen had been laying down for only a few minutes when his body jerked forward for no apparent reason. Tommy examined his chest in confusion, he hadn’t felt anything hit him, his body had moved on its own accord. Tommy clutched his head as his vision was briefly covered in white spots. 

“What the hell,” he muttered as his eyesight began to return to normal. Then a gripping realization came over him, as previous nights of research caught up with him. Tommy was being warned about a switch. “Shit!” The teen scrambled out of bed, his mind racing with thoughts. How could he prepare for this? He didn’t need to go anywhere else, he was at home.

Tommy quickly locked his door, making sure that no one could walk in while he was in the switch. The blonde ran his hands through his hair in a desperate attempt to calm his nerves. It’d be Phil right, and it’s late so he’ll be at home. Tommy had nothing to worry about right? They wouldn’t know it was him, all he would have to do is watch Phil for a few minutes, and then it’d be done. Everything would remain the same, right?

He sat on his bed as his leg bounced up and down. Tommy hadn’t had this much anxiety in ages and the clawing fear in his gut was not a welcome feeling. He felt his body sway and his eyes automatically slid closed. When the blonde blinked them open again, he wasn’t in his room, no matter how impossible it sounded.

Tommy now stood in what looked to be Phil’s living room, said man was sitting on the couch after all. The elder blonde had his head in his hands as Kristin sat rubbing his back, both looking quite concerned. Tommy looked down at himself to realize there was nothing there, no torso, no legs, nothing. It was like he was invisible.

This was quickly becoming one of the strangest experiences of his life. Phil finally lifted his head and looked at his wife before looking around the seemingly empty room. “Ok, this is probably the weirdest thing ever.” The statement was said with such finality and confusion that Tommy couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face.

However, his grin fell when he heard a familiar laugh echo around the room. The words “you could say that” were giggled from the general vicinity of the door to the room, however, both Kristin and Phil’s mouths had remained closed. “We can talk,” a voice that sounded a lot like Techno laughed out in surprise. Both voices sounded way too familiar, and Tommy stifled a groan.

“That’s,” the eldest of the soulmates paused as he made eye contact with Kristin, “interesting.” Phil grabbed a laptop that sat on the coffee table and took to the internet to figure out what had just occurred. He seemed quite preoccupied and as Tommy couldn’t see Wilbur or Techno, he took the time to look around the room.

He had met Phil in person before when he went to see Wilbur in Brighton, but the blonde had never been inside his house. It was a quaint little space with pictures of both their families on the walls. Dark wood shelves held little trinkets and Tommy could see a collection of YouTooz across the room. He happily took notice of the group of figurines that were of each of the four soulmates.

Tommy brought his attention back to the situation when Phil muttered, “Ok, this kinda makes sense.” He looked up to where he vaguely knew his soulmates to be “standing”. “Our situation has thankfully happened recently to a group of three soulmates. They all switched starting with the eldest and going to the youngest, and those watching could say a brief sentence or two per switch.” 

Tommy realized that Wilbur nor Techno could talk since they had already “wasted” their chance. Oh god, they didn’t want him to talk, did they? A few more moments passed and Phil’s hope that their fourth would talk was diminished slightly. “Since Wilbur and Techno have already talked, only the last of us can say anything else.” The eldest blonde said, leaving another prime opportunity for their fourth to talk.

Tommy wracked his brain for something to say. Is there anything he could say without them recognizing his voice? He could see the desperate look on Phil’s face and Kristin looked slightly upset as well. These people were practically his family and he just stood there saying nothing. The awkwardness seemed to seep into the room and Tommy’s anxiety clawed at his throat.

“I know who you guys are.” His sentence was whispered into the silent room in a hushed tone that didn’t reveal what his voice sounded like. Tommy didn’t want his friends to waste their switches and say nothing. As much as he was scared of them finding out, Tommy didn’t want his soulmates to think he hated them. 

The teen also wanted them to know that he knew some basic things about the three. If they all just used their switches to talk about themselves, he wouldn’t ever get to find out more about their connection as soulmates. He didn’t want his friends explaining their channels when he already knew all about them. Call him selfish, but Tommy wanted to savor these memories before his soulmates eventually found out.

“Oh,” Tommy grimaced at the blatantly shocked look on Phil’s face, he obviously wasn’t expecting that. “Well, I guess we don’t have to talk too much about ourselves then, huh?” Phil laughed and leaned back on the couch. Tommy was surprised he took the information so well, the teen was unsure how he’d feel if he had a soulmate that was a fan of his channel. Then again Phil was a deeply accepting person, he didn’t care who his soulmate was as long as they were happy.

“Well you know that I’m your soulmate, Techno and Wilbur are your others, so why don’t I just tell you more about us. As in the way we are off-screen.” Kristin smiled at her husband, a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Yeah, these children act a bit differently in the real world.” Phil glared at his wife but his smile gave away his happiness. Tommy was reminded how happy his two married friends were, and his mouth twitched up into a smile. Maybe this wouldn’t be too bad.

The eldest of the group began to tell different stories about Techno and Wilbur. Some Tommy had heard hundreds of times before but others were surprisingly new. Phil talked animatedly about the time he and Wilbur had hung out at a Christmas mart at 2 am. “I thought there was no chance it’d be open, but it was in full swing!” The blonde was laughing as he recalled the memories, and Tommy could imagine the eldest two being idiots and goofing off in the snow.

The blonde sat himself down on the floor and listened to the gentle tone of Phil’s voice. His thoughts had slowed to a relaxed pace, his previous anxiety forgotten, as he listened to Phil tease Techno. “You should’ve seen when I visited him for the first time, I’ve never seen someone want a hug so badly without saying it,” Kristin was cracking up next to her husband and Tommy was suddenly struck by how nice she was. 

It still was shocking to have a mother figure genuinely care for him. When he had first met Kristin, he didn’t know how she’d act around him. Most of his mother’s friends thought he was obnoxious and annoying, and avoided him like the plague. However, Kristin had smiled gently at him and hugged the teen, she laughed at his jokes and spoke kindly to Tommy. She probably had no idea the effect it had on the teen, her daily compassion was his only source of motherly care.

Phil was talking about their plans to have Techno come to England to meet everyone in person when he paused. “Oh lord, you’ll have to meet Tommy!” Said teen sucked in a sharp breath, he hadn’t even thought that Phil would mention him. Why would he mention the loudmouth teen that bugged him constantly? The dark thoughts started to plague him as the warm feeling he previously felt started to fade.

“He’s the sweetest guy you’ll ever meet, he’s so fiercely loyal it boggles my mind.” Tommy’s mouth fell open. “I truly don’t think people are ready for him, he’s got so much potential and fire in him, and the kid’s been so supportive in our search to find you.” Phil was smiling gently, his eyes holding a far off look as the eldest looked to be reminiscing.

Tommy’s chest felt tight, did they really think so highly of him? Phil was radiating this fatherly love that made Tommy’s head spin. As with motherly love, he was lacking that father figure that Phil had no doubt become. Did the people he considered family care that much for Tommy? “I’ve only met him once and I'd already chase after whoever hurt him, he just has that effect,” Kristin said with a grin. Tears began to prick at Tommy’s eyes, the aching in his heart growing.

“I seriously couldn’t imagine any of our friends meeting you first other than him.” A sob got caught in Tommy’s throat as a surprised noise left him. Phil wanted the teen to meet his soulmate first? Out of all the friends he had, Phil would choose Tommy? The realization of how much his friends loved and cared for him hit Tommy like a lightning bolt, striking a blazing warmth in his chest.

Tommy’s vision started to blur and the wave of disappointment that hit him surprised the blonde. He hadn’t thought the first switch would go like this, and the unexpected feelings that flooded his mind were daunting. He wanted to just sit here in the loving and calm atmosphere forever. Couldn’t he have just five more minutes? Tommy knew he’d be a mess once he switched back.

“Even though you didn’t get to say much, I’m glad you’re here. Don’t ever think we won’t care about you for any of your faults. We’ll love you just the same.” Tommy felt like he couldn’t breathe. Phil’s tone was laced with gentle care and he felt a soft tug at his heartstrings. Never had someone expressed such genuine care for Tommy. Kristin was grinning as she got up to get the tea kettle that had begun whistling as Phil talked.

“Soon enough you’ll get to meet our whole rowdy gang and I already know they’ll love you,” Kristin said with a heartfelt smile. Phil smiled at the area he knew the other three to be standing, “I hope you all have a good rest of your night or day, and we’ll see you soon!” The couple both smiled and Kristin waved cheerfully from the kitchen. Tommy felt his eyes flutter close once again, the action deeply upsetting, and a strange cooling sensation ran from his head to his toes.

When he opened his eyes again, the teen was perched on the edge of his bed. It took a few moments for Tommy to come to full consciousness, so he didn’t hear the quick knocking on his door. “Tommy are you ok?” The worried voice of his sister came through and he quickly got up to open it.

He clutched his head when the too fast movement worsened his growing headache. “I’ve been calling you for hours, you always wake up to your ringtone. What happened?” Abigail spoke in hushed words that were rushed out as her worry for her younger brother overtook her. It only worsened when tears started to silently fall down his face.

“Hey, hey, it’s ok,” she said softly and led him over to his bed, closing the door behind her. The teen sat down shaking like a leaf. “What happened?” Abigail asked again, worry etched into her voice. Tommy laid his head on Abigail's shoulder and closed his eyes. The pounding headache made them hurt.

“We had a switch,” his voice came out cracked and broken and oh so tired. Abigail made a soft noise mixed between a sigh and a laugh. “Obviously something happened Toms, you gotta tell me,” she said running a hand through his hair. “Don’t call me that” Tommy mumbled before he could stop himself. 

Abigail laughed, “sorry I forgot that was what your boys called you.” Tommy didn’t know why the term “your boys” made his stomach flip. He already knew those idiots were his soulmates, now he was getting all mushy about it. 

“Shut up,” he mumbled, “they just said some really interesting things.” Abigail nodded for him to continue and he recalled as much as he could about the switch. His emotions rose and fell like waves as he told his sister everything. Tommy’s tears had finally slowed as he reached the end of his story.

“So without even knowing it was you, they still talked about you.” Tommy nodded his head, it now resting against the wall his bed was pushed against. “That’s,” she paused “that’s great Tommy.” He looked over at the other blonde in confusion.

“They don’t know you’re their soulmate, yet they care so much about you that they wanted their fourth to meet you first.” Tommy face-planted into his own hands, groaning. “They love you already Tommy, I’ve told you that, this whole thing will just make them love you even more.”

Tommy felt tears prick at his eyes again, he rubbed them aggressively, sighing. “I know. I know they care, it’s just hard.” Abigail nodded and squeezed his shoulder. “Get some rest, you’re tired.” He nodded and moved to lay down as his older sister got up. She leaned down and kissed his forehead before making her way towards the door. 

Abigail's hand had barely turned the knob when Tommy called her name. “Yes?” She asked, turning slightly to see the teen. “Thank you,” he whispered into the room. Abigail left the room without another word, her happiness showing in her smile. Tommy watched her go with a soft grin to match.

He sighed and turned to face the wall, grabbing his phone that lay forgotten. Tommy started to play his usual playlist that helped him fall asleep, but the quiet music didn’t help. He tossed and turned, but just didn’t feel tired. 

Tommy got up, his annoyance levels rising as he got tangled up in his blankets. Once freed, he sat in his desk chair and opened Reddit. Before he could start scrolling, he got a notification from YouTube.

For some ungodly reason, Techno had started a completely unplanned stream on the Dream SMP. He usually only came on for events or grinding and those always had people waiting for almost a day for the stream to start. Tommy clicked on the link, confusion evident on his face.

“Hello,” Techno’s voice came through his headphones, the greeting long and drawn out. The familiarity made Tommy feel surprisingly warm, then again, his idiotic soulmates had been making him feel a lot of things recently.

“I know it wasn’t planned, but I don’t care.” A laugh bubbled out of Tommy as his friend logged on the server, the chat already starting to spam the YouTuber’s name. A gentle smile settled on his face and Tommy leaned back to watch the chill stream. 

And if Abigail found Tommy asleep at his desk the next morning with a replaying stream on his screen, no one had to know.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta read by the lovely emkat_13 <3, hope you enjoyed the man himself, philza minecraft


	3. Wilbur's Melody

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating in over a week, mental health and all that but i got some motivation and i gift you this!

Tommy supposed the day could’ve gone much worse. Despite forgetting both his lunch and an essay for the class he was almost failing, the day had been decent. His focus was returned to the present when a younger classmate bumped into him and the force sent the already annoyed teen stumbling. Who was he kidding, Tommy’s day had been going terribly.

His alarm that morning had decided to go off nearly fifty minutes past when it was supposed to. Tommy had had barely enough time to shower and get ready, let alone eat breakfast or make his lunch. Now, he was practically starving as he left his college campus. Tommy groaned aloud when he remembered that his parents wanted to have a “family dinner” that night.

Those always started or ended with an argument that left Tommy walking on eggshells for weeks. He was getting ready to cross the street when a familiar car pulled up next to him, the grinning face of his sister visible through the driver’s window. “Abigail?” Tommy asked in bewilderment, but he was given no explanation as she got out of the car to shove him into the passenger seat.

The younger blonde looked at his sister as she reversed the car and started driving. “So are you gonna explain or?” Abigail just grinned and replied, “nope!” Tommy groaned and decided to just stare at the window to pass the time. It didn’t take very long for his thoughts to wander to the three people that had been the source of a lot of the teen’s recent turmoil.

Now Tommy knew his three soulmates were some of his closest friends, and logically he knew that wouldn’t change no matter what happened. However, he also knew that they had been waiting a very long time to meet him. The blonde had known about their matching marks for a while yet Wilbur, Techno, and Phil had been left in the dark. Tommy couldn’t help but feel guilty that all of the extra stress and worry was for no reason. He was just being a coward.

“Hey, stop getting in that head of yours,” his sister’s voice was teasing yet gentle as she bumped his shoulder lightly. Abigail opened her car door and only then did Tommy realize that they had arrived at their destination. There was a worn wooden sign hanging from the door of a small white shop, its words reading “Rosé Café”. Tommy didn’t need much else to know where they were.

“We haven’t been here since I was twelve,” the younger of the two mused as they stepped into the shop. Abigail hummed in agreement as they were greeted by a familiar old woman. The siblings smiled at the owner of the shop, Mrs. Rose, and after reminding her of their old favorites, the kind lady walked away to attend to other customers. The two blondes sat down at a relatively peaceful area, a small booth in the corner of the shop, perfect for them to watch the people passing by and talk.

Mrs. Rose put two steaming mugs of hot cocoa and a large chocolate chip cookie in front of them and left with a smile. Abigail thanked her and broke off half the cookie and took a bite. “I leave for uni soon, so little brother, I want to hear everything.” Tommy couldn’t help the smile that bloomed on his face. Both siblings knew their parents would never ask about the trivial things in their lives so Abigail and Tommy had always taken to asking each other instead.

\----------

The impromptu day out with his sister had made the teen completely forget his family’s plans for dinner. When Tommy entered the front door with Abigail right behind him, his parents were seated at the table waiting. “Where were you, Tommy?” His mother asked, voice shrill and accusatory. The eldest of the two siblings quickly put up a fake smile, one that Tommy still couldn’t seem to master.

“We went out to Rosé Café, you know the place we used to go to when we were kids?” Tommy’s mother huffed as they sat themselves down in the two remaining chairs. “Senile woman that Rose, her son was such a troublemaker.” Tommy made sure to keep his hand from shaking as he started to eat.

The family of four ate in relative silence, surprising the youngest greatly. Usually, by now, a slew of sly comments would be thrown his way, yet nothing was said. Were they holding back because Abigail was there? “Oh, Thomas, your father and I found this wonderful treatment that we think you’d love!” His mother’s smile was oddly warm and Tommy glanced at his sister, her eyebrows were creased. “Uh, what sort of treatment?” 

Tommy didn’t have any conditions that would require medicine of any sort, so logically there was no treatment he would need. “Fascinating thing, supposedly it severs ties between soulmates.” Tommy’s fork clattered to his plate, the sound ringing in his ears.

He somewhat heard his father’s scolding voice, but nothing except white noise seemed to fill his head. That wasn’t possible. Soulmate bonds weren’t a physical presence, right? They were unbreakable ties between souls that were practically sacred. When the teen didn’t respond, a soft kick from Abigail jolted him back to reality.

“It’s not surgery really, it’s just these pills that break down the bonds that connect two people.” His mother explained. “You just take them once a day, and record any side effects you feel.” His dad said, staring at the still silent teen. Tommy didn’t know what to say, he could care less about what the treatment was, he didn’t want it.

“Are you fucking insane?” He finally asked, voice quiet and shaky. His mother’s knife was placed delicately across the top of her plate, “I beg your pardon, young man.” The teen’s head lifted and he glared straight at his mother. “I said, mum, are you fucking crazy?”

His voice shook with rage, how dare they. How dare they even think about taking away something as precious as his soulmates. Tommy didn’t care if he’d be grounded for eternity or never allowed to stream again, he would fight tooth and nail to keep his bond. His parents weren’t allowed to take that away from him, they were his friends, his soulmates.

“Thomas, this decision is not yours to make,” his mother said with a deep frown. “As your parents, we know what’s best for you.” Tommy’s chair made an awful screeching sound as he stood up. “Don’t pretend to know what I want when you never even bother to ask!”

“Tommy,” his sister’s words were caught off by their father raising a hand. “It’s alright Abigail, he doesn’t have a say in the matter.” Tommy’s lips pulled back as an awful sneer settled on his face. “We weren’t asking for your permission,” his father said, face as cold as his voice. 

“We’re looking into that medicine whether you like it or not.” The finality in his tone did nothing to stop Tommy’s rising fear. They couldn’t do this, there had to be some way to stop them. A warm arm was placed around his shoulders and the teen glanced up to see his mother’s smiling face. The kind expression made him feel sick.

“I know you’re nervous, but I promise this will be one of the greatest decisions of your life.” Tommy’s mother continued to rub his shoulder as she started rambling about how free the teen would feel. Freedom didn’t exactly come to mind when thinking about breaking the bond between Tommy and his soulmates.

“I have a stream to do,” he mumbled, shrugging his mother’s arm off and bolting up the stairs. He vaguely heard his sister calling after him, but Tommy didn’t bother to stop. The familiar room felt like a breath of fresh air to him and Tommy quickly collapsed on his bed after shutting the door. He shoved the palms of his hands against his eyes, trying to stop the sting of hot tears. 

Tommy’s phone buzzed and one glance showed it was his reminder to get on call with Wilbur. The man was doing another challenge with his subs, something about bridging across a long stretch of the void. The teen would rather just sleep, but ditching the stream would raise too many questions with Wilbur. Ones Tommy didn’t know if he could truthfully answer.

His phone beeped at him again, and Tommy felt the sudden urge to chuck it across the room. Instead, the teen grabbed it and looked at his newest notification, a message from Abigail.

_“Text me when you’re done with stream, we can work this out :)”_

His sister’s optimism was not doing much for his somber mood. With a shake of his head, the blonde got up and started to set up for Wilbur’s stream. Even starting his computer felt like it drained what was left of his energy, the mental and physical exhaustion taking a toll on Tommy. No less than five minutes had passed when the familiar chime of a discord call came through his headset.

“Hello, Tomathy!” Wilbur’s cheery voice said. Tommy sighed, however bad he was feeling, he was glad at least his soulmate was happy. “Hello, big man!” The teen tried to match Wilbur’s enthusiasm, but it fell flat. “Hey, you ok there Tommy?” The evident tone of worry made his stomach churn. “I’m fine Wil, now how are we torturing your viewers today?”

The elder of the two started to explain the general idea of what they’d be doing on stream, but Tommy’s mind began to wander. He was nowhere near religious, but the teen was about ready to start praying. Tommy couldn’t lose this, it’d break him beyond repair. He couldn’t bear to lose Wilbur, let alone lose Phil and Techno at the same time.

“You ready to start, you can come in a little later than everyone else ok?” The teen nodded even though Wilbur couldn’t see him. “Yah that’s good.” Tommy hoped nothing would go wrong, he’d had enough excitement for one day.

\----------

After messing up numerous times throughout the stream, Tommy wasn’t even surprised when he felt a somewhat familiar pull in his gut. Everything else was going wrong, why not throw in a switch in the middle of his soulmate’s stream? The teen felt an overwhelming urge to just lay down and cry his eyes out.

“Oh chat, shit um,” Wilbur was stuttering out words as his viewers paused in their efforts to bridge. Tommy looked towards his soulmate in-game, many of the players starting to crowd around his frozen body.

“Tommy!” Said teen snapped out of his thoughts and looked to his second monitor where Wilbur’s stream was pulled up. “I need you to watch my stream,” his voice shook as the man seemed to search for something in his room. Tommy’s eyes widened as he realized the implications of Wilbur’s request.

“Wait Wil-,” but it was too late, Wilbur’s “Be right back” screen had popped up. Tommy began to feel even dizzier and he racked his brain for a decent excuse to leave. “Hold on chat, I’m gonna check on him uh.”

The blonde had barely enough time to mute himself when his eyes closed on their own accord. When Tommy opened them again he was somewhat hovering in the cramped space of Wilbur’s office. The man was running his hands erratically through his hair, the stress and worry evident in his face.

“Ok, ok, I’m fine, this is fine,” Wilbur tried to reassure himself, but another glance at the screen made the brunette groan. Tommy watched in silence, Wilbur was going to kill him. “Hey mate, it’s alright. Tommy’s watching your stream, it’s ok.” Phil’s voice was evidently a soothing presence as Wilbur’s shoulders immediately sagged and he sighed.

“I really hoped one of us wouldn’t switch during a stream,” Wilbur said, letting out a pained laugh. 

The man turned back towards his screen, the chat flooding with different messages spamming about Tommy’s disappearance. “Bruh,” Techno’s voice said from near the door, drawn out and shaky. Wilbur chuckled as he spammed his chat that he would be ending the stream, his face remaining thoughtful.

Once he closed the stream, Wilbur turned towards the more open area of his office, facing the invisible people there. “Now I’m not gonna go down the sappy road that Phil did, there’s plenty of time for that later.” Tommy didn’t like the stern tone the brunette had taken, it reminded the teen too much of scolding lectures from his parents.

“You’re afraid, it’s obvious but you can’t think about just yourself right now.” Wilbur frowned, obviously regretting some of his harsh words. He let out a sigh, leaning back in his desk chair. “We want to be together, we want to know you, but we can’t do that if you waste these opportunities.”

Tommy began to notice the darker bags under Wilbur’s eyes, the evident exhaustion in his voice. Looking around Tommy saw the extra mattress in disarray, the man’s precious guitar left with a broken string, and the overall room looks messy. The situation was taking a toll on all of them, not just him. Wilbur was right, Tommy needed to do this, if not for himself then for them.

“Play your guitar.” The blonde said softly, his voice carrying in the small space. Wilbur’s shock showed on his face, obviously not expecting his little rant to actually affect his fourth. Tommy knew his friend was first and foremost a brilliant musician. He could do incredible things with his favorite instrument and it was his way of expression. 

Wilbur was stressed and worried so he needed to calm down. A thoughtful look crossed the man's face once again, but he got up anyway and moved to grab the guitar resting against the wall. He winced at the broken string and began to methodically remove and restring it.

Once he finished, Wilbur sat down on his chair and strummed a few notes, checking the tuning. He glanced up from his guitar, a nervous look gracing his features before he returned his focus to the instrument. With a deep breath, he began to play a soft melody. There were no lyrics, no other noises to accompany the calming notes that filled the room. 

Tommy smiled, his idea had worked. He sat down on the floor and felt a wave of nostalgia at the situation. Numerous nights had been spent with Wilbur playing both new and old songs for his three friends, but this time held a different weight. The song was not upbeat or peppy, was not accompanied by snarky lyrics that Wilbur used to tell a story, it was a melody all their own.

Wilbur was breathing life into the notes he played, his eyes closed and posture relaxed. Tommy was watching an artist speak with nothing but their passion, and he was simply in awe. The song told a story, shifting from a faster tempo to slow and deep strums that set a somber mood. Tommy could feel every emotion that had plagued Wilbur from the moment their second clue appeared.

The teen decided to close his eyes, and for once let his mind be empty. He didn’t want to think right now, he wanted to spend this time with his friends. This moment was better than anything he had ever experienced, and it might just become a fond memory to look back on. Tommy’s breathing was slow and his chest began to rise and fall with the music. He couldn’t see half of his soulmates but Tommy had never felt closer to them.

\----------

Wilbur had truly never played like that before. He often got lost in his music, the story he made surrounding him taking over his mind, but he had never done that. The brunette wished he could remember every second of the long melody, he wanted to write it all down and keep it for himself forever. But maybe that was the beauty of it. He’d never experience that specific song ever again, but he played it once for his soulmates. So what more could Wilbur ask for?

It was later the same night, and his mind was still filled with broken pieces of the song. Surprisingly, the moment never changed. Despite not seeing any of his soulmates, Wilbur remembered the moment almost like a dream. He was playing in an empty space with Phil and Techno peacefully listening with him. His fourth was like someone he knew he had met but couldn’t remember anything. The form was blurry and hard to focus on, but it was there.

Wilbur had been sitting in his office chair, playing to invisible people that couldn’t even talk, but yet he thinks that moment will stay with him until he dies. He shook the thoughts from his head, trying to pull himself back to reality. The brunette looked at his screen once more, a clip playing on repeat for him to analyze. Tommy’s voice came out rushed and quiet, him noticeably sounding away from his mic,   
“ _hold on chat I’m gonna go check on him_.” 

He couldn’t tell if he was making up things to put meaning behind coincidental occurrences, but Wilbur knew something was up with the teen. He listened to the clip again, now picking up on the slight rustle of fabric, almost like someone was scrambling for something. Wilbur frowned and paused the video, the chat’s words glaring up at him as thoughts raced in his head.

_It couldn’t be Tommy…_

_could it?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> beta read by the lovely emkat_13 <3, thank you for reading and feel free to comment! many of the previous comments helped me start writing!


	4. Techno's Wrath

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> go get some tissues lads :)   
> and no, this won’t be a happy cry
> 
> tw for yelling and depressing thoughts

Tommy was surprisingly having a decent morning. His alarm had gone off on time, the shower had warmed up fast and it was cold enough outside that the blonde could wear his favorite hoodie to school. Abigail smiled as her younger brother came downstairs in an overall happy mood. “What’s got you so giddy?” She asked teasingly, swirling the steaming coffee in her hand.

He shrugged, “just feeling like it’s gonna be a good day.” Tommy’s sister smiled softly. Her brother had a rough week, it was good he was feeling better. She nodded towards the doorway, setting down her drink and moving to grab her keys. “C’mon kid, I’ll drive you.” The younger blonde nodded, grabbing a piece of toast off of Abigail’s forgotten plate and following her out the door.

The siblings got into the eldest’s car and Tommy quickly turned their favorite playlist on, already pushing it past an appropriate volume. However, the two didn’t care and the drive to Tommy’s school went by in a flash as they simply enjoyed each other’s company. When they pulled up Abigail stopped her brother before he could leave the car. “I leave for uni today.”

Tommy frowned, looking towards the older blonde. “I have to leave when you’ll be in school so I wanted to say goodbye now.” He nodded and reached over the center console to hug his sister tightly. The two stayed like that, relishing in the moment they wouldn’t be able to share for a while. Abigail leaned back first, smiling softly. “Good luck with your boys, don’t forget you can call me if anything happens.” He nodded.

When the teen got out of the car and closed the door, his sister rolled down the window. “I love you!” She yelled, pitching her voice ridiculously high. Tommy cackled and shouted back. “I love you too!” Abigail waved once more before pulling away, leaving the teen on his own once more. The blonde sighed before making his way into the building, vaguely remembering his friends agreeing to skip school together. Tommy had a ridiculously important test so he’d be joining them when he was finished with his last period.

The walk to his first class was decently long so the blonde popped his earbuds, deciding to play his upbeat stream playlist. Tommy grinned when the familiar Able Sisters theme played through his phone, bobbing his head to the music. He breathed in deeply, enjoying the peaceful morning. He’d been really stressed recently, but today was going to be a good day. Tommy could feel it.

\----------

Two periods left, Tommy kept reminding himself. He was already halfway through this one and his last period would be easy. The blonde did his best to pay attention, knowing the information would be useful later. Besides, this class wasn’t difficult, just very boring. The teacher stopped the lecture when a hall monitor came into the class to talk to the teacher. The two whispered quietly to each other before their teacher left the room, telling the class to clean up their notes while she was gone.

The teen looked down at his paper, wincing slightly when he saw the terribly organized scrawl filling his notes. A few of his more rambunctious classmates were starting to mess around, but he focused on his work, intent on getting a good grade. Tommy groaned when his vision swam for a second, the blonde knew he should’ve drunk more water after working so late the previous night.

He shook his head again when the dizzy spell wouldn’t go away. Tommy nearly banged his head on the desk, he was an idiot. The blonde cursed under his breath before quickly stumbling out of his seat and towards the door. He vaguely heard someone call his name, but he had already run out the door. His vision wasn’t getting better and the sick feeling in his stomach only worsened as he ran, trying to figure out a place to hide. 

The bathrooms were practically on the other side of campus, and there was no way Tommy was risking switching in the open. He didn’t even know what happened to his body when he switched. Did he pass out or maybe just freeze up? The teen pushed that train of thought away, frantically looking around the hallway. He saw an old storage room that seemed to be his best shot, especially since the blonde heard footsteps coming. He ripped open the door and closed it, swiftly locking it from the inside.

He took ragged breaths as the panic and frantic running caught up to the teen. He didn’t get much of a break, his eyelids sliding shut on their own. When he opened them again, he immediately noticed a clock with a completely different time. That’s right, this was Techno’s switch. It was a quaint room, figurines, and trinkets stacked on different bookshelves that were filled to the brim, unsurprising considering the owner.

Tommy continued to look around the unfamiliar room and finally noticed Techno. His hunched figure sat on the edge of his bed, pale hands tugging at brown hair. “This is your fault.” The blonde teen recoiled at the harsh words. Who was Techno talking about? Did he not realize they were in a switch? Techno looked up, a scowl twisting his mouth downwards. His brown eyes felt like they bore into Tommy, and the teen had a sickening feeling that he knew the answer to his question.

“We have spent _years_ looking for you and when we finally get a chance to talk to you, you do nothing.” Techno scoffed, eyes glancing around the messy room angrily. “It all comes down to you now, this is the last switch before we finally know who you are. That terrifies you doesn’t it?” Tommy recoiled, he never expected this unbridled anger from any of his soulmates. The man’s jeers were hitting too close as well, one of his closest friends was digging at whatever he could. His intentions were to hurt, and the brunette was succeeding.

“You don’t get to live a fairytale where your favorite streamers are your soulmates. This is the real world kid and I’m done with you meddling in our lives like it’s a fucking game.” If the teen had been in his own room, tears would’ve already made their presence known, but the unfamiliar setting made him feel trapped. His chest was tight, anxiety and fear crashing over the blonde in waves. The room seemed to close in on him as more viscous and cutting words fell from his friend’s mouth.

His eyes couldn’t close, too focused on the terrifying image of Techno fuming in anger. He wouldn’t stop, why wouldn’t he stop? “Techno enough.” Phil’s voice was rightfully angry, but the fatherly scolding did nothing to ease the man’s fury. “No Phil, you’ve suffered, I’ve suffered, and so has Wil. We can’t just let some random person we don’t even know ruin us like this!” The only thing heard throughout the room was the heavy breathing of Techno.

Tommy choked on a sob, the audible noise most likely counting for his speaking time for the switch, but the blonde couldn’t bring himself to test that theory. Was he right? Techo sounded so upset, so hurt. The American either didn’t notice or didn’t care, because even after Phil’s warning he continued to spit vile words at the teen. If this had been any other circumstance, Tommy would’ve felt proud that his friend was so eloquent when his feelings translated to words. Now all the teen could hear was the venom meant to poison and harm him.

_“You’re only thinking about yourself, how selfish can you be?”_

_“Do you even care that we are living beings with emotions and feelings outside your own?”_

_“We’ve given you every opportunity and moment to talk yet you sit in silence or whisper meaningless words to buy time you don’t have!”_

_“This isn’t just about you.”_

_“Get a grip on your reality and figure it out!”_

_“You’re a fucking coward.”_

_**“This is your fault!”** _

“STOP!” Tommy cried, but it fell on deaf ears, his moment had already been wasted. _Techno was right_. He did everything in his own interest, every word he had said was to save his own skin. Techno didn’t even know that it was Tommy who had caused them all this terrible pain. They all thought their soulmate had only had a few minutes to talk to them. Tommy had countless opportunities, yet he said _nothing_.

Techno would be furious when he found out, the teen had no idea how he could get even angrier, but his brain did its best to supply the image. The American would be livid, the poison dripping from his lips would be lethal then. Tommy knew he couldn’t recover from that, no one could. But he didn’t have one soulmate, the teen had three soulmates that had suffered day after day because he was a coward.

Phil would hurt him even more. Tommy had lost one father figure already, another loss would break him beyond repair. His biological dad had drifted away slowly, the signs not making their presence known until it was too late. The blue-eyed man would be ripped away from Tommy faster than he could blink. It’d be quick, even more painful. The man was his friend, his soulmate, and he was going to lose him to wasted moments and cowardly thoughts.

Wilbur, an idol at first that over time had become a mentor for the boy. Tommy had friends, best mates even, but none of them held a candle to the curly-haired Brit that was his brother by everything but blood. Techno could use his words well, fanciful terms that’d hurt deeper than any curse could, but Wilbur was different. He knew every flaw, every piece of trauma and pain that could destroy the teen. Anger the man enough and he’d lay out your worst fears in pretty words spoken like an angel. Lying to Wilbur for months about one of the most important things in the brunette's life was a better reason than any for him to lose all semblance of self control.

Tommy was done. He was done with this whole situation. Techno hadn’t stopped, not once, to consider that his words were enough. The damage he so desperately craved to deal had hit harder than the American could ever know. The teen’s mind was in shambles, but it still continued to fall down its self-destructive spiral. It recorded every word, every threat that came out of Techno’s mouth, saving it for when the teen was at his weakest. The time would come when Tommy felt like trying again, and this moment would tear him right back down.

“Maybe Techno’s right?” Wilbur’s sentence had been said as a question, but his tone held a finality that Tommy couldn’t process. The nail in the coffin. This was it, he’d lost them. The family that cared for him when his own was too far gone to even notice his problems. The blonde’s closest friends were furious and upset, but it was only the beginning, right?

They didn’t know this idiotic kid that was too afraid to speak was Tommy, they had no clue. Their pain would multiple tenfold, it would no longer be some random person destined to be with them. The three soulmates had been hurt and utterly betrayed by their closest friend, their little brother. Tommy was humiliated beyond relief, and they didn’t even know the truth yet. The childlike side of him wished to go home, go where he didn’t have to worry about this pain anymore.

But wasn’t that the point? Tommy was losing the only home he ever had. His home was never a building or a house, it was never the nuclear family of a mom and a dad with an older sister for him. His home and family had always been three nerds on the internet. The people he had idolized somehow saw enough value in him to bring the teen into their crazy family, yet Tommy was about to lose all of it.

Some distant part of his brain remembers how much he wanted the previous two switches to continue forever. They were so calm and had brought comfort to Tommy when he felt like he was drowning. If those times had been a flood, then now was a tsunami. Searing grief bubbled in his chest, his emotions shifting rapidly from anger to sorrow. He was furious with himself, he should’ve never let himself get caught up in the fantasy world of this supposedly perfect situation. His parents were right, soulmates only brought pain and heartbreak.

Tommy was slightly eased of the painful situation when the familiar dizziness washed over him. He had turned into a corner, his gaze finally being torn away from the fuming Techno. The furious brunette had stopped speaking awhile ago, and his exhaustion was evident in his slouched posture. The man was rubbing at the bitter tears that had started to stream down his face, but to no relief. Normally, Tommy would’ve been extremely worried if the most stoic of their group was crying, but nothing about their circumstances was normal. The teen closed his eyes and when he opened them again he was back in the musty storage closet.

Tommy stumbled before collapsing to the floor, tears starting to violently stream down his face. An ugly sob ripped its way through his throat as the blonde tried to stop the loud noises with his hand. His chest shook violently as the anxiety and fear rushed over him. He tried to grab something, anything to steady himself but he just knocked over various cleaning supplies. The loud crash briefly drowned out the uncontrollable cries leaving the teen, but Tommy knew he needed to get out **now**.

With shaking legs, the blonde pulled himself up, fumbling with the handle of the door. He finally pushed it open and the bright lights of the hallway made him flinch fiercely. Going to the office to call out was a disaster waiting to happen so Tommy pulled up his hoodie and swiftly walked out of the building. Logically the teen knew he was going home, but the whirling thoughts in his head made Tommy feel unfamiliar with everything around him.

He ran across the streets, cars honking as he paid no attention to the vehicles on the busy street. The cold air was refreshing on his flaming cheeks, yet the hot tears still rolled down his face. He rubbed angrily at his face, fumbling with the keys in his pocket as soon as he saw his house. Tommy ran up the steps two at a time, desperate to get in his room and shut out the entire world. He didn’t want to deal with anything.

Tommy unlocked the door quickly and didn’t bother to stop it from slamming behind him. “And what are you doing back from school?” The blonde turned to see his father, arms crossed, standing in the entrance to the kitchen. “None of your business,” he muttered, trying to get to the stairs as fast as possible. His father stepped in his way. “Don’t use that tone with me young man, but anyways, your meds are here.” An orange bottle was shoved into his hand, and the teen looked down to see the brightly colored pills. 

“Don’t worry, my soulmates hate me anyway,” he said, forcing the pill bottle back in his hand. Tommy expected his father’s reddening face before it happened, his anger predictable. The man started to go on a rant, scolding the teen for failing to mention the three soulmates he knew the blonde had. “Oh just fuck off, it doesn’t matter!” Tommy said, rolling his eyes as he still tried to get past his dad. The man bristled, “I am your father-” Tommy scoffed, “like hell you are!” He finally shoved past him and made his way upstairs.

“Who do you think you are?” His father yelled in anger. Tommy whipped around on the stairs, his mouth pulled back into an almost feral snarl. “Certainly not your son.” The teen spat before continuing his journey up the stairs. The blonde’s mother was at the beginning of the hallway upstairs, her hands poised on her hips with a disapproving scowl on her face. Tommy shoved past her, the force of his shoulder causing her to step back. “Thomas!” He flipped her off, still walking.

Tommy paused when Abigail stepped out of her room, most likely about to leave for school. “Tom?” She asked, stepping closer to the still crying teen. The blonde shouldered past her, walking into the room. He threw his backpack down on the folded bed sheets before turning to his confused sister. “Just go back to university.” Abigail’s mouth fell open, but her brother had already closed the door in her face.

The teen’s vision blurred as the tears that had slowed due to his anger started to fall faster. He slid to the floor using the door as help and brought his knees to his chest. Tommy’s lip trembled uncontrollably, his body going against him and showing every sign of his grief. His hands were shaking beyond control and his chest heaved up and down sporadically. The teen felt pathetic, sitting on his bedroom floor crying his eyes out when he was the one that caused others so much pain.

Abigail was gone, left to go back to her perfect life at university, filled with friends and a happiness Tommy would never feel. Her own younger brother ignored her, shooed her away harshly, but her familial disappointment could never match Phil’s. He could still hear his father ranting furiously, but it did nothing to him, Techno’s fuming rage could never be matched in anger. His mother was still banging on the locked door, complaining about something else that was the blonde’s fault, but he didn’t care to listen. No one could match the scathing words Wilbur would say to him soon.

He deserved this, right? All the misery that had torn down his soulmates’ mental states bit by bit was all caused by him. Tommy triggered the second clue. Tommy refused to show his soulmark. Tommy had ignored all of Tubbo’s advice. Tommy pointedly didn’t talk about himself during every single switch. Tommy was the one who didn’t say a word when his soulmates talked to him countless times about their fourth. It was Tommy’s fault, and the teen deserved to suffer for it.

_He didn’t want to be ok anymore._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just wrote techno leaving tommy in shambles, _feeling fucking good_
> 
> readers pls forgive me, i woke up and chose violence today-
> 
> my beta reader bullied me so hard for this dw, emkat_13 i hate you <3


	5. End Of The Road, Tommy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im sorry for not updating in a while, have 5k words of angst as an apology :D
> 
> tw: bad parental figures (this is why phil is your soulmate tommy cmon)
> 
> also a few of you readers are mentioned in this chapter, either for being here since the beginning or making me and my friends die laughing with your comments!

Twitter was in shambles, for five whole days the popular group of creators known as Sleepy Bois Inc had disappeared. Scheduled streams were left forgotten, planned videos never recorded, and online friends left in confusion. The charismatic four had just up and left, no clues or explanation to be found. While countless people across the world tried to figure out what happened, the missing soulmates grieved.

Tommy grieved for the family he had lost, the true family he had wanted nothing more than to keep.

Techno grieved for the soulmate he had torn apart, the young kid he had taken out his fear and anger on.

Wilbur grieved for the budding relationship that had been ripped to pieces, pulled from the ground before it could blossom into something more.

Phil grieved for all three of them, the people he loved the most were falling apart at the seams and there was no way he could help any of them.

The youngest of the four had shut down. It didn’t matter what he was doing or who he was talking to, Tommy couldn’t bring himself to care. It had been three days since Techno’s switch, and the blonde was leaned back in his desk chair, staring at the ceiling. He didn’t know how his head could be so full of whirling thoughts but feel completely empty. The blonde couldn’t function, his mind always felt hazy and every time he moved it took so much energy. Tommy felt useless.

He blinked quickly when his eyes started to pool with tears and turned back towards his computer. The teen was invisible on discord, looking through all his servers and seeing most of the same things. Questions, countless questions, all asking what had happened to him and his soulmates. Why should they care? If Techno’s words were anything to go by, he was a hindrance to other people. Maybe his soulmates held enough importance, but Tommy couldn’t understand why hundreds of messages a day were asking where the teen went.

The blonde sighed, slowly raising himself from the chair. His body ached and he felt lightheaded, but Tommy still made his way downstairs. He took note of the keys laying on the table by the door, his parents were home. “Thomas, why aren’t you at school?” Unsurprisingly, the blonde’s dad was fuming, his anger still not easing up. Tommy shrugged, moving to grab a cup. His father stopped his hand, and the blonde finally looked him in the eye. If the elder noticed the glassy and dead gaze of the teen, he didn’t mention it.

“You can’t just skip school.” The blonde frowned and moved around his dad. He put ice in his glass before filling it with water. He glanced over his shoulder to see his mom in the doorway, Tommy’s father nowhere in sight. He grimaced, setting his drink on the counter before facing her. “I’m getting real tired of your attitude young man.” She scowled when the teen rolled his eyes. “I don’t really care how you feel,” he said with a shrug. His mom bristled.

She took hold of his shoulder and forced eye contact with the blonde. “You will go out into the living room and talk with your father.” Tommy shrugged her arm off but made his way to the couch where the eldest of the household was sitting. He flopped down onto the other end, picking at his nails. “Thomas.” He looked up, face showing intense boredom. “You’ve been a nuisance since the day your sister left, and I’m putting a stop to it now.” 

Tommy glared, “no thanks.” His father sneered. “You’ve been saying no to us a lot lately, and it is not an option you have here.” The blonde’s mother said, walking to where the other two sat. She placed her hands on the back of the couch, leaning towards her son. “You will stop this attitude and disrespect now.” The room went quiet, nothing but their breathing filling the silence. The teen was staring blankly at his parents, his mind somewhere else.

How were his soulmates doing? Tommy had avoided wondering, too scared to think about how angry they must be. When he had checked discord earlier, Phil and Wilbur had been in a call for almost three hours, Techno hadn’t been online in two days. He hoped they all were ok, that they were going to move on and forget about the stupid kid causing them so much grief. It struck Tommy that his switch hadn’t happened yet. 

He groaned and got up, ignoring the shocked looks of his parents. Tommy rolled his eyes, did they really think he was gonna sit there and listen to their ranting. The teen didn’t have enough energy to do simple math, let alone deal with his parents’ anger. He walked over to the kitchen counter, grabbing his drink and moving towards the stairs. The blonde glanced back when there was no verbal disagreement, but his parents just stared at him. Weird.

Tommy walked upstairs, taking a sip of the cold water, it doing wonders for his sore throat. He sighed, thankful that the confrontational situation was over and dealt with. His parents were still angry, but, then again, they always were mad at the teen for something so he had no qualms about ignoring it. The blonde didn’t want to deal with them anyway. He pushed his door open, settling back into the black desk chair.

His muscles relaxed into the cushions, but the ache in his bones remained. Tommy chose to ignore it, taking another sip of his water. The teen decided to check Twitter instead of Discord, he was still feeling bad so why not look at one of the most toxic social media platforms. He pointedly ignored the vile comments his head came up with, the scathing remarks not doing much to his already shattered mental state.

The blonde was so tired, and it was more than just not sleeping well. This exhaustion seeped into everything he did, making every action seem like running a marathon. Lifting the glass to his lips felt like more of a chore than the sip of water was worth. Typing in the search bar of Google wasn’t worth the energy it took. Tommy was just tired of being tired, but hey he asked for this right? He was in the wrong here remember, he deserved to suffer.

The white and blue landscape of Twitter loaded onto the teen’s screen and he sighed, the trending box almost being solely comprised of his soulmates’ communities. He clicked onto the top one, #findSBI. It was at the top of the site, trending all over the world. Tommy investigated further to see the tag filled with theories and potential evidence about the whereabouts of the content creators.

_**Tallowwood**  
does anyone find wilbur’s stream from like last week weird? #findSBI_

_**averyconfusedperson**  
**replying to thread:** me too!! theres no way thats a coincidence _

_**Atalante241**  
**replying to thread:** tommy dipped for no reason so maybe its his fault everyone’s gone??? #findSBI_

_**Dackytwo**  
**replying to thread:** as if! techno had a stream ready to go and never showed, somethings totally happening with him_

_**Mads_notfound**  
**replying to thread:** you do realize youre talking about technoblade of all people??_

_**Dackytwo**  
**replying to thread:** pfft look guys its a NotFounder-_

Tommy rolled his eyes, annoyed that random people on the internet could pinpoint events so fast. Sure there were hundreds of others discussing random things that had nothing to do with the real situation, but there were some who were almost spot on. A small part of the teen jeered that this was why streaming was a bad idea. Not only did these people have direct contact with their lives, but they also got to comment on situations that had nothing to do with them.

He sighed and rubbed at his temples, a throbbing headache starting to form across his brow. He took a gulp of water, trying to wash away the dryness in his throat. It felt scratchy behind relief and even the cold drink did little to ease the pain. Tommy looked at the screen again, randomly scrolling until he found a thread longer than two people screaming at each other.

_**Fanficiton_Junkie_28**  
ok this may be by fanfic brain going brrrr but isnt it weird that sbi as a whole has been acting weird over the past month or so and now they all disappear. maybe its nothing but i feel like something else is going on, much bigger than just streaming. thinking about all of this has just left me in shambles #findSBI_

_**MinRosie**  
**replying to thread:** bitch you’ve left me in shambles_

_**hyacinthsandchamomile**  
**replying to thread:** exhibit A of sleeptwt crying rn_

_**intruxx**  
**replying to thread:** I REALLY CANNOT DO THIS TODAY BESTIE FCUK_

_**hycainthsandchamomile**  
**replying to thread:** there’s exhibit B_

_**Ochokinode**  
**replying to thread:** why must you pain me so-_

_**Callie_Caje**  
**replying to thread:** cant we just stay out of it?? If somethings really going on a bunch of toxic stans digging into it wont help_

_**pinkie2054**  
**replying to thread:** yeah! We should just leave it alone, the cc’s have said to leave it to them so thats what we should do_

The pounding in Tommy’s head hadn’t stopped, and reading random people’s comments on his personal life probably didn’t help. He closed the tab, leaning back in his chair. The teen continued to massage his temples but to no avail, the throbbing pain still shot through his head like lightning. He shakily grabbed the glass of water, nearly spilling its contents when his hand jerked to the side.

Tommy chugged the rest of it, but the pain in his head seemed to increase. He screwed his eyes shut, willing his torment to end. The teen’s head lolled forward on its own, his shaky hands catching it. He vaguely realized that they were sweating, the shaky movements also showing his anxiety. Why was his heart beating so fast? Since when did his computer’s fan sound so fuzzy?

His ears felt like they were stuffed with cotton, and his vision swam as he frantically tried to find anything in the room to ground himself. The teen gagged, his stomach lurching at the smell of food from downstairs. Tommy was starving, he hadn’t eaten in days, but nothing had ever sounded so disgusting. He groaned when he felt the cold sweat on his body, the sticky feeling making his skin crawl. The blonde’s nails scratched at his arms which left them red and irritated, but nothing eased his rising discomfort.

An unsettling feeling ran through his entire body and Tommy automatically closed his eyes. He grumbled as his throat throbbed once again before opening his eyes. The teen lurched forward when a blinding pain shot through his head, automatically crying out. His entire body shook violently as he ripped at his hair. Tommy couldn’t breathe, _why couldn’t he breathe?_

The pain was nauseating, the blonde couldn’t hear anything outside the blood rushing in his ears and the pounding of his heart. Was this a panic attack? Sure he was in a very bad mental spot, but the comments on Twitter didn’t upset him. The teen was mildly annoyed that’s all, so why did it feel like he was dying? “Tommy! Mate, you gotta listen, Tommy!” 

His head shot up violently, his eyes frantically looked around the room trying to find the source of the noise. When the blonde couldn’t see anyone, his aching mind finally realizing the situation. “Fuck,” he croaked, “the switch.” Tommy’s voice came out hoarse, wincing immediately after he had spoken. _Why now?_ The teen was trying to figure out why his head was splitting open, not dealing with his soulmates. 

A shadow passed by his door, and the change in light scared the teen more than it should’ve. He stumbled back violently, knocking into his desk. The empty glass on his desk fell to the floor, a large crack splitting the surface. There was a scuff mark on his bed’s leg where it had hit, but Tommy could care less. There was something much more important on that glass than a stupid mark. 

Despite his pounding head and shaking body, the teen ignored the soulmate situation currently at hand and reached down for the glass. “Don’t touch the glass,” someone croaked. Was one of his friends crying? Tommy’s hand paused in its movement, the voice had a British accent, and the person calling his name earlier had said “mate.” Was Wilbur crying?

Tommy shook his head, despite the movement making his vision spot out momentarily. It didn’t matter right now, he could deal with his angry soulmate later. He picked up the glass, mindful to not make the fragile cup shatter in his hands. He ran his thumb over the edge, the teen wanting to cry when he saw the white powder the action left. Tears blurred his vision as the glass fell from his grip.

The blonde suddenly shot up, wobbling almost immediately but managing to stay upright. They couldn’t have, _they wouldn’t have._ Tommy could practically hear the protests of his soulmates, but only Techno had a chance to talk and the teen was convinced the man hated him. Just as he predicted, the American stayed silent. He stumbled to the bathroom and slammed the door open, not caring about making noise. 

The blonde knocked over countless things on the counter, searching for something. Where was it? _Why couldn’t he find it?_ “There!” His hand jerked out, shakily grabbing the bright bottle. Its contents made a small noise as he examined it carefully, but there was no mistaking the heavily depleted amount of pills. Tommy choked on a sob, the prescription bottle falling from his hand. It crashed to the floor and rolled at his feet, but the teen couldn’t see it through his tears. He grasped at his hair, ragged breaths leaving his mouth in puffs.

Tommy’s chest was heaving, the teen coughing sporadically trying to get air in his lungs. Nothing seemed to work, and the panic setting in made the teen heave. He gripped the countertop, the cool tile cutting into his hands. The blonde looked into the mirror and made eye contact with himself. He grimaced as he processed his ragged appearance.

The bags under his eyes were a prominent contrast to the red tear tracks on his pale skin. Tommy’s hair was greasy and the blonde strands stuck up in random directions due to him constantly messing with it. His eyes were bloodshot, and the usually blue irises were a stormy grey filled with emotion. There were angry red nail marks on his throat, collarbone, and arms. Tommy only remembered scratching himself once, but the countless streaks said otherwise.

The teen glanced down at his hands to see them still clenched in unbridled fear. He let them relax only to wince violently when he saw the crescent moons dug into his palms. A few of the marks were bleeding, and the blonde realized that his nails were red from the incessant clawing. His body was still shaking violently, and no amount of deep breaths were helping him. Tommy subconsciously let out a pitiful whine when he looked at the mirror and saw what he had been wearing for the past few days.

He donned black sweatpants, a familiar red heart sewn into the pocket. Kristin had gifted him the comfortable pants, saying he deserved a hardcore heart just like the others. Techno had a patch that was attached to his messenger bag while Wilbur’s was on one of the man’s favorite beanies. Tommy tugged at the collar of his shirt, the navy blue crewneck well worn. It was one of his most loved gifts, a custom Soot College sweatshirt. 

Tommy had gravitated towards the comfort items regardless of their original gifters. The clothes reminded him of a time when he didn’t have to worry about his mark, he could just be with his friends. He had never admitted it aloud, but those three had become his home. It’d never be the parents that thought he’d never accomplish anything. It wasn’t the empty walls of this house that despite housing his childhood didn’t bring the comfort it was supposed to. Home was three people he’d met on the internet, through a children’s game they all loved beyond words. Not for the opportunities it gave them, or for the fun they had playing it, they loved the game because of the family it had brought them.

He tore his eyes away from the clothes, wiping at the tears that had unsurprisingly come with reminiscing. Tommy glared at himself in the mirror, this wasn’t what he wanted. He had sacrificed so much, so much to be the perfect son. The teen had done everything asked of him, and the one thing he wanted to keep for himself was being ripped away. His soulmates were the only respite the blonde had wanted despite his parents’ warnings. Yet they thought it’d be ok to go behind his back and take them away. “Fuck their rules,” he spat.

The blonde quickly splashed water on his face before grabbing the orange pill bottle. Despite the pain he felt, the incessant shaking that wouldn’t go away, Tommy held his head high as he made his way downstairs. His parents were sitting at the kitchen island, with relaxed smiles on their faces as they talked. The blonde’s mom spotted him first, initially giving him a grin before it dropped upon seeing his fuming appearance.

Tommy cut her off before she could even speak, “how could you?” His voice was hoarse, the teen’s throat raw from the cries and screams that had been ripped from him in grief. His entire frame was shaking violently, both from the throbbing pain his body was still going through and the destructive rage he felt. “How could we what? Honey, what’s wrong?” His mother got up, wrapping her son in a hug. He remained stiff in her arms.

His mind was screaming, calling for justice on the people who had wronged him countless times. Tommy seemed to shake more as his mother dared to whisper reassurances when she had caused this unwavering pain. The blonde wrestled from her grasp, tears pricking in his eyes. No, he couldn’t cry. Tears would just hinder him, and Tommy had a lot he wanted to say. This was his one opportunity to say everything that had plagued him since he was a kid, he wouldn’t waste another moment. _Not like before._

Instead of screaming at them, the blonde simply put the mostly empty pill bottle on the counter. His mother’s eyes widened momentarily before a faux expression settled on her face. “Oh Tom, are you finally taking those pills? You feel so much better already don’t you?” His hands balled into fists, but Tommy took a deep breath. “No, I haven’t willing taken a single one of those pills.” His mother still remained docile, a confused smile replacing her previous one. _Why couldn’t they just admit it?_

“I found powder on the edge of my glass, and after seeing your faked reactions I’m going to rightfully assume this wasn’t the first time.” Tommy sat down across from them, folding his hands on the counter calmly. He wanted to exude confidence in this, his parents had used his fragile emotions as a manipulator countless times. His heart was beating wildly, and he clasped his palms together tightly to hide their violent shaking. The anxiety he felt sent waves of fear over him, but he shook it off, he had to do this.

“Tom, we would never do that!” His mother looked heartbroken. Was he wrong? The teen stopped the thought process before it could begin. They had done this so many times, he needed to remember how to go through this. Tommy bit his lip, looking away from his parents, and pretended to blink away tears that didn’t exist. From his peripheral, the blonde saw his mother’s fake smile widen into a gleeful smirk. _There._

He turned back to face them, her grin dropping back to the facade he now knew was feigned comfort. “Is there something wrong then?” Tommy looked at his father, the man’s eyes glinting with a knowing look. “Anyone you’d like to talk about?” The teen felt sick, his stomach coiling in fear. Every time he tried to be strong, every time he tried to talk civilly, the blonde’s parents always dug at just the right things to get him angry. Deep breaths, in and out, he could do this.

“Actually yes.” His father’s grin widened, he thought he had won. “I’ve recently found out that three people you believed to be wonderful influences on me are all my soulmates.” Tommy couldn’t help but smirk when his parents’ faces fell in disbelief. He turned to his father, “you’ve spent an entire day with Wilbur, you thought he was a good guy. You talked all about how I should be more like him, independent and smart while still paying back his parents for taking care of him.”

Tommy wanted to vomit from the memory of his father’s backhanded compliments. The man had admired Wilbur and reminded the blonde he was supposed to be just like him. The teen had hated this fact, but now it was a crucial part of the conversation. He turned his now sickenly sweet smile to his mother. “And you thought Techno was an excellent student. You admired his knowledge and told me countless times I should focus on my studies just like him.”

His mother looked shellshocked, his father’s face showing his rising anger. Tommy wasn’t finished yet. “And Phil!” The teen crowed, “you were so happy a person ignoring their soulmates could marry and be successful like him. You praised the ground he walked on for finding a wife and choosing her over the people you thought were worthless simply because they were destined to be together.” The blonde’s father opened his mouth to speak, no doubt forming some plan to put the teen in his place, but Tommy was ready this time. “Well let me tell you something about them, you’re wrong. You’re both fucking _wrong_.” 

“Wilbur barely knows what he’s doing. He loves his music and he loves his friends, but his family life could be better, but hey the man’s independent and perfect according to you so what does it matter!” Tommy’s hands had stopped shaking, the fear he had previously felt now rolling into a ball of adrenaline as he finally got to say everything he had always wanted to scream at his parents, _and they were listening._

“Techno dropped out of college.” He couldn’t help but laugh when his mother let out a surprised squeak. “He’s lived with his parents his entire life and hasn’t even thought about completing his English degree. He is quite content with being a YouTuber and spending time with guess what, his soulmates.” Tommy’s father stood up, hands gripping the counter tightly. “That is enough young man, you will stop this instance!”

He shook his head violently, thankful the action didn’t make him ridiculously dizzy. “No! You don’t get to stop me this time, I’m telling you what’s happening and you’re gonna listen!” The teen sounded crazed, tears welling in his eyes, but he couldn’t stop now. _It was finally happening._ His father scowled but sat back down. Tommy could care less, if he was thinking about some grand scheme to get back at his son, then the teen would have more time to speak his mind.

“Phil found Kristin through his job as a streamer, the same thing I do almost daily that you think is pointless. He’s never ignored his soulmates for her, and she’s cared for them both like they were her own children. These fantasy people you’ve created in your head for me to be like just don’t exist!” Tommy’s mom scowled, her false cheerfulness gone. “Go on then, what’s your point?” She spat, nails clicking against the countertop rhythmically. 

Tommy beamed, proud of himself. He had done it, he had finally pushed aside his fears and confronted his parents about all the pain they had caused him. “My point is that these three wonderfully flawed humans are my soulmates. They are my closest friends and I’m not gonna sit by while you try to haphazardly take them away from me with experimental pills.” The teen grabbed the prescription bottle before dumping its contents into the trash can, shutting the lid with a grin.

His parents just stared at him, their shock and anger evident on their faces. Tommy couldn’t care, the euphoria he felt made his head dizzy. “So that’s in then, you want to throw everything we’ve done away for three nobodies? Don’t you know what we’ve sacrificed?” The blonde scowled, “don’t you know what I’ve sacrificed?” 

His mother bristled, the tall woman standing from her seat. “You are a child,” she hissed. “We are your parents and we deserve the respect you so obviously lack!” When his father stood as well, Tommy jumped from his seat in order to catch the man before he could start yelling. “Now hold on! I have done everything ever asked of me and anything I ever spoke out on you hated. Whether it was streaming or the friends I hang out with, you’ve talked down upon all of it! Don’t act like you deserve respect and trust when you’ve never given me the same courtesy!”

Tommy’s head whipped to the side, the initial sting of his mother’s hand not registering in his mind. He clutched his cheek, the ear that had also been cut ringing significantly. “You,” the teen coughed, sputtering over his words as the pain increased. “You hit me.” He looked over to see his mother’s face completely blank, she was resigned in her decision. Any movement of the left side of the blonde’s face was occupied by a world of pain. The adrenaline from arguing with his parents had worn off as well, leaving the strange effects of the medication in his system at full force.

“Out,” his father spat. Tommy whirled back, still trying to recover from the shock of being hit. _His mother had slapped him._ “If you refuse to be respectful, then you need to leave now.” His tone was harsh and the teen realized that this man no longer deserved the title of father, maybe he hadn’t for a while. The blonde stumbled out of the kitchen, the tears long held back finally beginning to fall.

Tommy ran up the stairs, barely being able to catch his shaking body from collapsing. He stumbled into his room, well technically not his room anymore. The teen grabbed his school bag, and dumped out the meaningless contents, leaving only his most important notebooks. He frantically grabbed a few pairs of clothes, not bothering to grab specific pieces. _He was already wearing his most prized gifts._

The blonde winced when he saw his computer set up. He had worked countless hours perfecting it, and now he was about to leave it all behind. Tommy took a few deep breaths, looking around at the bedroom he would probably never see again. The realization struck deep, and the teen let out a smile whimper, biting his lip immediately afterward. “Tommy-”

He inhaled sharply, that was Techno. The young streamer wanted to laugh at the hopelessness of the situation. In his shock, his soulmate had forgotten about the switch’s limit on talking. Tommy sat in silence, nearly jumping out of his skin when his father shouted at him from downstairs. “You have a minute Thomas, get out of my house!”

Tommy wiped furiously at the tears on his face, slinging his backpack over his shoulder. A familiar feeling pooled in his stomach, and he sighed before getting up from his crouched position on the carpeted floor. The teen lay a shaking hand on the doorknob and took a final glance at the room which had been slightly torn apart in his haste. “I’m sorry.” The blonde closed his eyes when the feeling consumed him, his soulmates were truly gone now.

The switch was over, and Tommy was getting kicked out of the house. _God, when did everything go so wrong?_ Out of fear, the teen rushed past his waiting ~~parents~~ , the sound of ~~his mother’s~~ foot tapping on the floor ringing in his ears. The blonde’s tears somehow fell faster when he opened the front door to realize it was freezing outside. When he turned to grab his coat, the glares from ~~his parents~~ stopped him cold.

The blonde slowly turned back around, facing the frigid world outside the warmth of his old home. He didn’t look back again, stepping out onto the front porch. The door slammed behind him. Tommy stumbled onto the sidewalk, looking around the empty streets. It was already dark outside, the only light coming from the streetlamps shining brightly above him. A shiver ran up his spine as his warmth was quickly stolen by the night air.

Tommy decided to start walking, anything to get away from the horrible memories. The teen thankfully spotted a bench, his body aching with exhaustion. He collapsed onto the bench, bringing his legs to his chest, trying to conserve what little heat he had left. _What was he going to do?_ With shaking hands, Tommy took out his dying phone and called the one person he could think of. The teen was a crying mess before she even picked up the call.

“Hey Tom, are you feeling any better?” The line went silent as the young blonde became a blubbering mess after hearing his sister’s voice. He cried, he whimpered, he screamed at the unfairness of it all, he had lost everything, “Abigail it’s all gone. I messed up, please what do I do?” His sister tried to reassure him, but the crying teen couldn’t be consoled. When she had finally guided him through a few deep breaths, the elder blonde spoke calmly. “Tommy what happened, you need to go home.” Tommy let out a shaky laugh, the hoarse sound making a puff of smoke in the frigid air.

_“Abigail, I don’t have a home.”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope yall enjoyed >:)
> 
> your support means the world to me and any comments absolutely make my day!
> 
> as always, overwhelming thanks to my beta reader emkat_13 _and_ my friend solann13 who im sure many of you have seen him kicking around in the comments <3


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